Although I may tear up during the first dance at a wedding reception or exclaim “aww, how cute” over a pair of infant sized Winnie the Pooh pajamas, I am ok. I believe that sharing these life events with my friends causes me to be more selective with who I want to share the rest of my life.
There are those must-haves like he must not be a momma’s boy, can cook and clean after himself and is not uncomfortable with physical affection. But then there are those really ‘trivial’ criteria like he must be mentally stable, have a healthy, well-balanced view on life and be someone who is a naturally supportive listener who gives good advice.
On my recent trip to London, I felt that everywhere I went I was surrounded by couples. It was absolutely ridiculous at times. It seemed I had missed a memo and had forgotten to pick up my complimentary bloke at the tube station when I purchased my Oyster Card. I felt a little out of place at times and began to wish for a bloke of my own.
As I listened to some of those couples interact with each other, I continued my wishful thinking, but I was more specific. I have always been very selective in my relationships (romantic or platonic). I have always considered “Is this someone I can trust? Is this someone I can have fun with? Is this someone I can have a meaningful conversation with?” or “Is this someone that will put my business out on the street? Is this someone who doesn’t know when to be serious?” In my moments of desperation, “I just want a man!” comes across my mind. Thankfully, I never act in my moments of desperation and those moments are a lot less frequent as I grow older. I don’t want just the bare minimum. If I did, I would be doing myself and the other person an injustice because they would never be what I really want and/or need.
So I continue to ignore the wooing from the guys on the corner, with their tempting ‘ay shawty’ advances that are oh so appealing. Or the guy I have affectionately coined, ‘the Walmart man’, who has unknowingly attempted to woo me when I was 16, 23, 25 and 26 – always using the same pickup line (no he doesn’t realize he has tried it on me before). And I try to resist the urge to swoon when I am seated across from an attractive guy who eloquently gives an account of his rise up the corporate ladder. He concludes his spiel to regrettfully inform me that I did not meet the requirements to become his trophy wife/girlfriend who will silently stand at his side and smile, adding to his personal glory.
What a pity.
The majority of the ‘happy’ couples I know met each other as a result of a chance encounter in a grocery store (not Walmart!), at a social event or even on a park bench. Their ‘chance encounters’ stemmed to meaningful friendships and developed to something even better.
No, I will not eye random guys in the grocery store, trying to manipulate a ‘chance encounter’. But, I will keep my eyes open and not be so self-absorbed the next time someone strikes up a conversation in Barnes & Noble (and is not trying to get me to start a business selling products over the internet/pre-paid legal/travel services).
And the wait continues…..